Mokara - February 2023

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The Mokara Family

Hans is 51, Yin is 48, David is 11 and Sam is 10

(Ling Belio is 48, Melina Mokara is 19)

Narrated by Yin

This Valentine's day, Hans and I decided to have a night to ourselfs. We planned to hire a babysitter and go out to dinner, but Sam had different ideas. He figured he was too old for a babysitter, and that he and David are old enough to look after themselfs.

He has this whole speech ready that we're not running a prison here, and that we need to learn to trust them, after all David will start high school next year, and Sam the year after that.

Hans and I decided to go with it, after all we were just going to go to Maison Mama, up the hill. So we weren't too far away if they needed us, and our cell phones were on all the time.

Even though we both expected a phone call every minute, we did have a nice time together. We decided to be fancy and ordere champange and lobster and even toasted to us, for being together this long.

I think we were lucky the boys are only 10 and 11 years old, otherwise I think we could have expected them to have thrown a party by the time we got home, but now we just found them in front of the tv.

Things between Hans and are going just fine. I still feel the same way I did when we got married, and I think he feels the same way.

So imagine my surprise when he brought up the topic of having another child. I really believe we both felt like we were done, and I never ever thought about having a 4th child, especially not when all our kids are almost ready to be independent.

He always loved having little kids in the house, and I think he could handle them growing up as long as Melina was in the house, but now that she moved out, I think it made him realise that his family is changing.

He still tuks the kids in at night, and he really enjoys it. I don't know how much longer the boys will allow their dad to tuk them in, but so far neither has complained.

He tries to meet up with Melina as much as they can after his work. I miss having her around in the house as well, but I also think it's nice that the kids are growing up.

After his meetings with Melina I can really see how well it's been for Hans, even though he seems much more down after them, and I know he's thinking about another kid than.

I really can't imagine us having another kid at this moment in our lifes. I like the fact that Sam and David are old enough to be left alone in the house for a couple of hours, and that I can go out shopping with Ling without having to consider the fact that I need a babysitter.

I brought it up once with Ling, that Hans wants another kid, and I think she really isn't the right person to try to see my point of view. She has similar thoughst as Hans about those things. Sometimes I think it's strange that she didn't end up with Hans instead of me.

 I so like the fact that the kids or old enough to do their homework on their own, and don't need our help all the time.

Or that they can do their own research on the internet, most of the time even better than we ever would.

Or that we can sit down as a family and watch tv together, without it having to be cartoons all the time. And that we can have normal conversations as a family.

And  know Hans likes the fact that sometimes they still need us. Like when one of us has to take them to their swimminglesson.

But I also know that he likes that fact that they don't need his constant attention anymore.

And I know for a fact that those swimminglessons are a great excuse for him to meet with other dads, and talk about and brag about their kids.

Notes:

• Hans really did roll the want to have another baby! He hasn't rolled it in years so I didn't think he would roll it again. Seeing Melina just moved out I figured he's just having problems adjusting to the idea that his kids are growing up.
• I have to admit that for a moment I considered letting them have another child (his IFS is 9 and hers is 6), but I feel that 3 really is the right number for them. I didn't lock the want and it rolled away and didn't roll back, so I get the feeling that Hans doesn't really want another child at all.
• I got the idea of the swimminglesson from one of Maisie's updates, and I really liked it, so I'd thought I'd do it in my game as well, it's a nice way to use my pool as well, since I really like it :)